Colorado Public Radio's OpenAir Presents
Black Belt Eagle Scout
Doors: 7:00 pm / Show: 8:00 pmLarimer Lounge
$14 - $16
This event is 16 and over
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every possible meaning of its title word. It’s an album formed from sheer intensity of feeling, an
in-the-moment narrative of heartbreak and infatuation. And with her storytelling centered on bodies
and crossed boundaries and smothering closeness, Crushing reveals how our physical experience of
the world shapes and sometimes distorts our inner lives.
“This album came from spending two years touring and being in a relationship, and feeling like I
never had any space of my own,” says the Melbourne-based artist. “For a long time I felt like my
head was full of fear and my body was just this functional thing that carried me from point A to B,
and writing these songs was like rejoining the two.”
The follow-up to her 2016 debut Don’t Let the Kids Win, Crushing finds Jacklin continually
acknowledging what’s expected of her, then gracefully rejecting those expectations. As a result, the
album invites self-examination and a possible shift in the listener’s way of getting around the
world—an effect that has everything to do with Jacklin’s openness about her own experience.
“I used to be so worried about seeming demanding that I’d put up with anything, which I think is
common—you want to be chill and cool, but it ends up taking so much of your emotional energy,”
says Jacklin. “Now I’ve gotten used to calling out things I’m not okay with, instead of just burying
my feelings to make it easier on everyone. I’ve realized that in order to keep the peace, you have to
speak up for yourself and say what you really want.”
Produced by Burke Reid (Courtney Barnett, The Drones) and recorded at The Grove Studios (a
bushland hideaway built by INXS’ Garry Gary Beers), Crushing sets Jacklin’s understated defiance
against a raw yet luminous sonic backdrop. “In all the songs, you can hear every sound from every
instrument; you can hear my throat and hear me breathing,” she says. “It was really important to me
that you can hear everything for the whole record, without any studio tricks getting in the way.”
On the album-opening lead single “Body,” Jacklin proves the power of that approach, turning out a
mesmerizing vocal performance even as she slips into the slightest murmur. A starkly composed
portrait of a breakup, the song bears an often-bracing intimacy, a sense that you’re right in the room
with Jacklin as she lays her heart out. And as “Body” wanders and drifts, Jacklin establishes Crushing
as an album that exists entirely on its own time, a work that’s willfully unhurried.
From there, Crushing shifts into the slow-building urgency of “Head Alone,” a pointed and
electrifying anthem of refusal (sample lyric: “I don’t want to be touched all the time/I raised my
body up to be mine”). “As a woman, in my case as a touring musician, the way you’re touched is
different from your male bandmates—by strangers and by those close to you,” notes Jacklin. On the
full-tilt, harmony-spiked “Pressure to Party,” she pushes toward another form of emotional
freedom. “When you come out of a relationship, there’s so much pressure to act a certain way,” says
Jacklin. “First it’s like, ‘Oh, you’ve gotta take some time for yourself’…but then if you take too
much time it’s, ‘You’ve gotta get back out there!’ That song is just my three-minute scream, saying
I’m going to do what I need to do, when I need to do it.” Crushing also shows Jacklin’s autonomy on
songs like “Convention,” an eye-rolling dismissal of unsolicited advice, presented in elegantly
sardonic lyrics (“I can tell you won’t sleep well, if you don’t teach me how to do it right”).
Paul grew up in a small Indian reservation, the Swinomish Indian Tribal Community, surrounded by family focused on native drumming, singing, and arts. "Indigenous music is the foundation for all of my music," Paul explains. From an early age, Paul was singing and dancing at powwows with one of her strongest memories at her family's own powwow, called the All My Relations Powwow. Paul reminisces, "When I was younger, my only form of music was through the songs my ancestors taught the generations of my family. Singing in our language is a spiritual process and it carries on through me in how I create music today."
With the support of her family and a handful of bootleg Hole and Nirvana VHS tapes, Paul taught herself how to play guitar and drums as a teenager. In 2007, Paul moved to Portland, OR, to attend college and get involved with the Rock'n'Roll Camp for Girls. Inspired by Riot Grrrl and Post-Rock bands like Sleater-Kinney and Do Make Say Think, Paul dove deep into the Portland music scene, playing guitar and drums in a bunch of bands while evolving her artistry into what would later be Black Belt Eagle Scout.
On Mother of My Children, the songs weave together to capture both the enduring and fleeting experiences of loss, frustration, and dreaming. The structures are traditional, but the lyrics don't adhere to any format other than what feels right in the moment. "I don't play music to write songs," Paul explains, "I play music to process feelings, and sometimes what comes out of that is a song." Paired with Paul's clear and measured voice, each song leaves the listener feeling as if they were there when the song was written, the immediate, candid emotion tangible.
The album begins with the singles "Soft Stud" and "Indians Never Die." Paul calls "Soft Stud" her "queer anthem," saying that it is "about the hardships of queer desire within an open relationship, which I think a lot of the queer community can relate to." The choruses in the song start soft with lyrics, "need you, want you, I know you're taken" and develop into louder choruses and heavy guitar solos.
When reflecting more on her writing process, Paul admits "I wrote this album in the fall of 2016 after two pretty big losses in my life. My mentor, Geneviève Castrée, had just died from pancreatic cancer and the relationship I had with the first women I loved had drastically lessened and changed." Heavy and heartbroken, Paul found respite from the weight of such loss in the creation of these songs that "are about grief and love for people," she says, "but also about being a native person in what is the United States today."
As Standing Rock was happening, many people in Paul's life were coming together and fighting for the most basic thing necessary to sustain human life: water. "Our treaty rights weren't being honored," Paul laments, "Imagine hearing on the news that the government doesn't support you as a human being and never has." Paul goes on stating, "'Indians Never Die' is a call out to colonizers and those who don't respect the Earth; they don't care about the water, they don't care about how they are destroying what is around them. Indigenous people are the protectors of this land. Indians never die because this is our land that we will forever protect in the present and the afterlife."
The album in itself is sprinkled with guitar solos, some heavy and some woven hooks. "Just Lie Down" starts with a heavy nature of distorted feedback and wild drums that sound like violent waves on a rainy coastal night. The song embodies what anger looks like when mixed with sadness. Lyrics like, "You aren't yourself, what's wrong, it's in your head, it's in your heart" are what Paul calls, "a point in grief where you don't feel at all like yourself and you wonder if you're going mad. The stage of grief and sadness that turns to anger, while it is a terrible thing, can also bring out a sense of relief that the process is coming to a healing point soon."
Mother of My Children is a life chapter gently preserved, and the access listeners have to such vulnerability feels special and generous. We are left wanting more, and all signs point to Black Belt Eagle Scout just getting started.
2721 Larimer St.
Denver, CO, 80205